My friend and I spoke about this yesterday. My co-worker and I spoke about this today over lunch.
What did we talk about?
Do you need a friend from the opposite sex with whom you spend a lot of time and hang-out with whenever the opportunity arises after your married or you already have another special someone?
Is this friend just a friend? I am not talking about friends who are there for you always...to share with you your smiles ..your tears....
It is when a friend ceases to be a friend and could become something more than that and affect your relationship with your partner.
This question kind of brings about mixed answers from my mind. Sometimes I think that its ok to have a friend with whom you can share everything under the sun, but sometimes I feel the need for such a friend will not arise in a good relationship. The need is satisfied by your spouse itself.
Thats one side of me thinking.
I think its good to have a friend who is like a kindred soul,but my friend also has to be comfortable when my husband's around and vice versa.
I also wonder when it comes to friends why does the sex of the friend even matter. In a idealistic world yes ,it doesnt matter but practically , it does.
I would be happy and comfortable with a male friend only if S is ok with him.If S doesnt get along well with my friend I would eventually draw my lines.
When there's truth and sincerity in a friendship its usually met with by your spouse who would understand that.
I have good friends from work & college but somehow I dont talk to them much these days....I do feel like picking up the phone and talking like before. We still do that sometimes but most of the times I end up feeling I would rather talk to S than this once closest buddy.
He makes my life complete.
If this sounds like my life and friendship's are circling around this one person...yes, thats true.
No friendships are more important than him. I believe and feel he is my first priority.
This is my own little space..A place where I write about my experiences and opinions as I sail through this journey called life.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Travails of a curly haired girl
My dad has curly hair...and so my story starts...My mom knew I had lots of hair even before I was born..I was born with curly hair that was like ribbon pasta.
I used to go with my dad and brother for my hair-cuts till I was about 4 years old...and then my mom decided that I should have long hair..not realizing that I wouldnt agree with any kinda styling she did with it.
She would plait it and I would take it off within 5 minutes telling her the partition is not straight...she would ask if I had eyes behind to actually see that..:)...she would dread plaiting my hair.
I troubled her a lot during those days that by the time I was in class 3 she decided I needed short hair...So from this time around I went with her to the beauty parlor and not the men's saloon where the women would envy my hair for reasons best known to them.
I've always seen those shampoo and hair oil advertisements and wondered how those actresses and models have such beautiful hair...and after wondering for a long long time, I found out that they actually iron their hair ."Iron" ...sounded wierd to me..
I chose to remember that word and try it out when I turned 21...
I spent all those years always yearning for straight hair like my mom..like the girl who sat next to me in class..I always felt one looks extremely beautiful with straight hair..
I think curly hair is not so bad...
Its just that you cant do any kinda styling with it...and you cant leave it flowing for too long....
One fine day after always getting those boring trims or straight cuts or U-cuts..I decided to get a layered hair cut.
The hair stylist told me that layers are not going to be ok with my 'kinda' hair (read curly/wavy hair) and said if I needed a layered cut I need an "Iron"..now thats a good reason to get a layered cut..and so I did..S had dropped me off at the stylist and when he came back there I was ...the gorgeous new me with flat straight hair....I just cudnt stop smiling or looking at the mirror....
I immediately bought a flat iron ....supposedly the best that I cud get at 100 dollars.
I laboriously do it as often as I can....
and cant stop admiring my hair when its straight...
It still doesnt stay that way after am all sweaty after a work out...or if I get wet in the rain :(
And sometimes a colleague who curls her straight hair does look more beautiful to me :)
Guess the grass is always greener on the other side..
I used to go with my dad and brother for my hair-cuts till I was about 4 years old...and then my mom decided that I should have long hair..not realizing that I wouldnt agree with any kinda styling she did with it.
She would plait it and I would take it off within 5 minutes telling her the partition is not straight...she would ask if I had eyes behind to actually see that..:)...she would dread plaiting my hair.
I troubled her a lot during those days that by the time I was in class 3 she decided I needed short hair...So from this time around I went with her to the beauty parlor and not the men's saloon where the women would envy my hair for reasons best known to them.
I've always seen those shampoo and hair oil advertisements and wondered how those actresses and models have such beautiful hair...and after wondering for a long long time, I found out that they actually iron their hair ."Iron" ...sounded wierd to me..
I chose to remember that word and try it out when I turned 21...
I spent all those years always yearning for straight hair like my mom..like the girl who sat next to me in class..I always felt one looks extremely beautiful with straight hair..
I think curly hair is not so bad...
Its just that you cant do any kinda styling with it...and you cant leave it flowing for too long....
One fine day after always getting those boring trims or straight cuts or U-cuts..I decided to get a layered hair cut.
The hair stylist told me that layers are not going to be ok with my 'kinda' hair (read curly/wavy hair) and said if I needed a layered cut I need an "Iron"..now thats a good reason to get a layered cut..and so I did..S had dropped me off at the stylist and when he came back there I was ...the gorgeous new me with flat straight hair....I just cudnt stop smiling or looking at the mirror....
I immediately bought a flat iron ....supposedly the best that I cud get at 100 dollars.
I laboriously do it as often as I can....
and cant stop admiring my hair when its straight...
It still doesnt stay that way after am all sweaty after a work out...or if I get wet in the rain :(
And sometimes a colleague who curls her straight hair does look more beautiful to me :)
Guess the grass is always greener on the other side..
Fights
People do come up with wierd statistics and conclusions.
Today's the day to pick a fight..
According to someone who really researched and found this out ,today's the day most couples are likely to have a fight.
Though I strongly believe none of the components of that equation would matter to us...
Let me see, if we manage to pick a fight.
Today's the day to pick a fight..
According to someone who really researched and found this out ,today's the day most couples are likely to have a fight.
Though I strongly believe none of the components of that equation would matter to us...
Let me see, if we manage to pick a fight.
Work-outs
Someone please tell me how can one actually run outside when the sun is scorching at 115 F.
I think one seriously needs to love running so much to do it in that heat or does it give a better work out?
Whatever, I would rather wait till its 7 in the evening or run on the treadmill.
Just like how running during midday baffles me, so does running at 10 pm in the night...Where do people get the energy and enthusiasm to do that?
This is a land of extremes...
I think one seriously needs to love running so much to do it in that heat or does it give a better work out?
Whatever, I would rather wait till its 7 in the evening or run on the treadmill.
Just like how running during midday baffles me, so does running at 10 pm in the night...Where do people get the energy and enthusiasm to do that?
This is a land of extremes...
Monday, August 28, 2006
Vetayadu Vilayadu
With so many reviews floating around..
According to me,Its the best Tamil movie I've watched in recent times. No comparisons with any other cop movie..
Interesting , gripping 3 hours...missed few scenes because I was hiding behind S not wanting to see the gory stuff.
At the end of it, felt happy that it was a well made movie..and hope the producer makes his money after all the trouble he went through making it.
According to me,Its the best Tamil movie I've watched in recent times. No comparisons with any other cop movie..
Interesting , gripping 3 hours...missed few scenes because I was hiding behind S not wanting to see the gory stuff.
At the end of it, felt happy that it was a well made movie..and hope the producer makes his money after all the trouble he went through making it.
Vinayaka Chaturti
We celebrated Vinayaka Chaturti in our own little way yesterday. Since it fell on a Sunday and S was in town, I decided to make Kozhukattai's as prasadam.
Since both of us like only the sweet versions, we decided to do just that.
I made the coconut and jaggery filling and the rice flour shell batter. Looking at the size of my kozhukattai's S commented that its too big and only the huge ganesh idols from mumbai can have them...I tried convincing him that they do make big ones too..Apparently he has seen only the small ones..
So he decided to do it himself :).....And he spent the whole morning making kutti..kutti...cuttie ones.
Back in india, I used to wake up early to help mom make kozhukattai's...sad that this time it fell on a sunday for folks in India..festivals on a sunday make you lose that one day off from work :(!!
Then I made some sundal while S got ready to do the pooja
Though the kozhukattai's weren't the best that the two of us have had before, I think it was good enough for a first timer like me.
Then we went to the temple in the evening...where for some reason they were singing all Shiva songs instead of vinayaka songs. (?!?)
It was a day well spent...except that I bleached S's thalai deepavali trousers by mistake :(....but it was so nice of S to not yell at me for doing that stupid thing .:)
Since both of us like only the sweet versions, we decided to do just that.
I made the coconut and jaggery filling and the rice flour shell batter. Looking at the size of my kozhukattai's S commented that its too big and only the huge ganesh idols from mumbai can have them...I tried convincing him that they do make big ones too..Apparently he has seen only the small ones..
So he decided to do it himself :).....And he spent the whole morning making kutti..kutti...cuttie ones.
Back in india, I used to wake up early to help mom make kozhukattai's...sad that this time it fell on a sunday for folks in India..festivals on a sunday make you lose that one day off from work :(!!
Then I made some sundal while S got ready to do the pooja
Though the kozhukattai's weren't the best that the two of us have had before, I think it was good enough for a first timer like me.
Then we went to the temple in the evening...where for some reason they were singing all Shiva songs instead of vinayaka songs. (?!?)
It was a day well spent...except that I bleached S's thalai deepavali trousers by mistake :(....but it was so nice of S to not yell at me for doing that stupid thing .:)
Friday, August 25, 2006
Home Sick
There's a saying "people who are closest to our hearts are only a thought away".They are always there in my thoughts but I miss the physical presence..
Was just looking at some pictures taken a year back when Mom and Dad came all the way to Singapore to see me for a week...I sometimes feel so blessed for the love and affection that my parents shower on me...
Hope I'll be half as good as my mom ... half as affectionate as my Dad is..
I really miss them a lot..
My eyes well up with tears...why am I living so far away?
I talk to them almost everyday but still miss them so much...
Its become a norm for me to always keep missing something..someone..
I miss S when he travels... I miss amma and appa ...I miss my brother....I miss chennai...
Was just looking at some pictures taken a year back when Mom and Dad came all the way to Singapore to see me for a week...I sometimes feel so blessed for the love and affection that my parents shower on me...
Hope I'll be half as good as my mom ... half as affectionate as my Dad is..
I really miss them a lot..
My eyes well up with tears...why am I living so far away?
I talk to them almost everyday but still miss them so much...
Its become a norm for me to always keep missing something..someone..
I miss S when he travels... I miss amma and appa ...I miss my brother....I miss chennai...
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Its Official
Its Official!
Pluto is out of the esteemed Planets List.
My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets , this was the line that our geography teacher taught us so that we would remember all the nine planets and now Pluto has been thrown out of the list.
This is not going to make any changes to my day-to-day life...but feels a little sad..
Like someone telling me something that I assumed was always mine is not mine anymore...
Just a random thought...why do we take so many things for granted..like me taking my job for granted right now (sitting at work and blogging)..
(Sobs..sobs..)....I need some hot chocolate to recup..
Pluto is out of the esteemed Planets List.
My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets , this was the line that our geography teacher taught us so that we would remember all the nine planets and now Pluto has been thrown out of the list.
This is not going to make any changes to my day-to-day life...but feels a little sad..
Like someone telling me something that I assumed was always mine is not mine anymore...
Just a random thought...why do we take so many things for granted..like me taking my job for granted right now (sitting at work and blogging)..
(Sobs..sobs..)....I need some hot chocolate to recup..
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Home Sweet Home
About 4 months back we decided to buy a place that would be ours..which would be home for us in this country miles away from Home Sweet Home.
Its been a hectic four months for the two of us watching and monitoring every little progress the house makes.
I think its close to having a baby or seeing your new born grow...the first time it smiles at you, the first time it turns around, the first steps, the first words all these and many more make you happy ,but am sure there are moments when things which are not really big that could happen to the baby like a flu,a cough, a tear that could scare you to the end...thats how this has been to us..
Though most of the mistakes could be rectified whenever we see something go wrong with the way things are going we would be psyched.
Add to that, a non-responsive builder...and some bent columns and shaky steps...
I seriously think its easy to build a house using bricks, concrete and mortar than build a house using lumber only.
Our baby is steadily growing now and the first frontal brick was layed today.
I cant imagine that this place the way it is right now would be our home in a couple of months.
A place where an hoping and praying that lots of nice things happen to us.
A Home for the two of us.
Its been a hectic four months for the two of us watching and monitoring every little progress the house makes.
I think its close to having a baby or seeing your new born grow...the first time it smiles at you, the first time it turns around, the first steps, the first words all these and many more make you happy ,but am sure there are moments when things which are not really big that could happen to the baby like a flu,a cough, a tear that could scare you to the end...thats how this has been to us..
Though most of the mistakes could be rectified whenever we see something go wrong with the way things are going we would be psyched.
Add to that, a non-responsive builder...and some bent columns and shaky steps...
I seriously think its easy to build a house using bricks, concrete and mortar than build a house using lumber only.
Our baby is steadily growing now and the first frontal brick was layed today.
I cant imagine that this place the way it is right now would be our home in a couple of months.
A place where an hoping and praying that lots of nice things happen to us.
A Home for the two of us.
Marriages!
Yesterday over lunch one of my managers asked me how we got married. Which is a usual question when you say you have been married for about a year or more.Then when I tell them its a modern day arranged marriage and tell them how my husband and I got married they are invariably surprised that this concept works very well in India.
So here I am trying to find reasons why a marriage succeeds...Most of us already know what makes a successful marriage...but its easier said than done.
I feel the fundamental neccesities for any relationship in any part of the world to succeed are the individuals who are the key players.I agree the two families coming together, parents liking the kids etc are also important, but even if our parents bond well together there is no reason the two of us should.
When the parents try to do the match making all that they are trying to do is match educational/socio-economic patterns...So a marriage being an arranged/love marriage really doesn't matter.
All that matters is we are married and we want to make this work!
Even if you have known your spouse before you get married , you never know a person until you start living together...there are so many little cute/irritating things that we notice when we start sharing space.
So any marriage does throw in a few surprises cause no one can get married without any expectations. Inherently there are lots of things that you want your spouse to do..some things like your father ..some not like your father...some like your brother...some not..somethings like madhavan...somethings like vijay (he is my favorite actor)...some like Richard Gere from Pretty Woman...Am sure guys do have their own expectations...
These are small things that you dont know about in an arranged marriage but you would definitely know in a love marriage.
There are the other important situations were he doesnt like the way you do certain things or your view points differ which you would know only when the situation arises.
Your spouse could be right, but if it needs to be changed, the inclination to accept and do the change should come from within u and not be forced upon.
Your life partner should accept you as you are and not try to change you into another person...The feeling of making the change in yourself for the good of the marriage and the love that you have for him should come from you...thats when a marriage succeeds.
Both of us should be willing to accept , change and learn from each other's mistakes.
A marriage is not just a bonding of two hearts and souls...its also the minds...
My mom also tells me the arrival of kids dynamically changes the equations of a marriage.....and both of us would feel complete only when we have kids. That really should be true..dont know yet :)
The feeling of superiority , ego etc kills a relationship...there's always something to learn even from a kid..so never look down or feel that you know better...you earn more...etc..
All these thoughts dont apply if you are in an abusive marriage...but for most normal marriages according to me the ingredients of success are love,understanding,adjustments but not compromises.
All said and done....though are marriage is too young ....and we fight over lots of silly things...
I know that I love S and he knows that too..and thats what is really needed for a successful marriage.
So here I am trying to find reasons why a marriage succeeds...Most of us already know what makes a successful marriage...but its easier said than done.
I feel the fundamental neccesities for any relationship in any part of the world to succeed are the individuals who are the key players.I agree the two families coming together, parents liking the kids etc are also important, but even if our parents bond well together there is no reason the two of us should.
When the parents try to do the match making all that they are trying to do is match educational/socio-economic patterns...So a marriage being an arranged/love marriage really doesn't matter.
All that matters is we are married and we want to make this work!
Even if you have known your spouse before you get married , you never know a person until you start living together...there are so many little cute/irritating things that we notice when we start sharing space.
So any marriage does throw in a few surprises cause no one can get married without any expectations. Inherently there are lots of things that you want your spouse to do..some things like your father ..some not like your father...some like your brother...some not..somethings like madhavan...somethings like vijay (he is my favorite actor)...some like Richard Gere from Pretty Woman...Am sure guys do have their own expectations...
These are small things that you dont know about in an arranged marriage but you would definitely know in a love marriage.
There are the other important situations were he doesnt like the way you do certain things or your view points differ which you would know only when the situation arises.
Your spouse could be right, but if it needs to be changed, the inclination to accept and do the change should come from within u and not be forced upon.
Your life partner should accept you as you are and not try to change you into another person...The feeling of making the change in yourself for the good of the marriage and the love that you have for him should come from you...thats when a marriage succeeds.
Both of us should be willing to accept , change and learn from each other's mistakes.
A marriage is not just a bonding of two hearts and souls...its also the minds...
My mom also tells me the arrival of kids dynamically changes the equations of a marriage.....and both of us would feel complete only when we have kids. That really should be true..dont know yet :)
The feeling of superiority , ego etc kills a relationship...there's always something to learn even from a kid..so never look down or feel that you know better...you earn more...etc..
All these thoughts dont apply if you are in an abusive marriage...but for most normal marriages according to me the ingredients of success are love,understanding,adjustments but not compromises.
All said and done....though are marriage is too young ....and we fight over lots of silly things...
I know that I love S and he knows that too..and thats what is really needed for a successful marriage.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Krishna Jayanti
It was Lord Krishna's birthday 2 days back..with busy hours at work and monitoring the construction of our own precious home where I cant think of hitting a nail (does everybody feel that way??) and laundry and cooking and groceries and so many other 'important' things to be completed I had almost forgotten how much fun this day used to be back in India..
Though I hadnt cooked anything special for Lord Krishna I was sure I wanted to go to the temple.
The dallas temple relaxes me and makes me feel peaceful.Today, it brought back so many fond memories of the past...
When I saw kids dressed as kutti Krishna, I remembered how my grand mom used to dress me up as Lord Krishna complete with the attire and flute in hand...I used to be a girl Krishna...and my cousin who dint get a chance to wear all the glitter was calledKrishna's brother to pacify him ....
On every Krishna Jayanti while making cheedais and all that exotic food mom told me the same story. Even though it was the same story I wanted to hear every year because it fascinated me.She would tell me how she used to dip my foot in the white rice batter used to make kolam (this is a south Indian version of drawing decorative patterns on the floor) and make me walk from the entrance to the Pooja room..This symbolises Lord Krishna walking into the house.
Though its not very hard for me to cry..all this nostalgia brought out tears ..S says I have taps right under my eyes which I could open at any given moment for no good reason :(
Memorable moments..so picturesque in my memory...am sure all of us have such wonderful moments intermixed in our busy lives where we dont have a moment to stop and think about all the small little things that make us smile and miss Home sweet Home...
Though I hadnt cooked anything special for Lord Krishna I was sure I wanted to go to the temple.
The dallas temple relaxes me and makes me feel peaceful.Today, it brought back so many fond memories of the past...
When I saw kids dressed as kutti Krishna, I remembered how my grand mom used to dress me up as Lord Krishna complete with the attire and flute in hand...I used to be a girl Krishna...and my cousin who dint get a chance to wear all the glitter was calledKrishna's brother to pacify him ....
On every Krishna Jayanti while making cheedais and all that exotic food mom told me the same story. Even though it was the same story I wanted to hear every year because it fascinated me.She would tell me how she used to dip my foot in the white rice batter used to make kolam (this is a south Indian version of drawing decorative patterns on the floor) and make me walk from the entrance to the Pooja room..This symbolises Lord Krishna walking into the house.
Though its not very hard for me to cry..all this nostalgia brought out tears ..S says I have taps right under my eyes which I could open at any given moment for no good reason :(
Memorable moments..so picturesque in my memory...am sure all of us have such wonderful moments intermixed in our busy lives where we dont have a moment to stop and think about all the small little things that make us smile and miss Home sweet Home...
Monday, August 14, 2006
Weekend trip to San Antonio..
This weekend we made a trip to Sea World, San Antonio to see Shamu and ride the thrilling roller coasters over there.
It was like any other amusement park not too different but still was lots of fun.
Our spirits were soaring high just like the sweltering heat of Texas. It was a hot day even for someone like me who just needs a glass of iced water to start shivering, but Shamu and the rest of the shows out there kept us entertained.
We started from Austin around 10:30 in the morning and reached Sea World around 12:30.
We went to some of the shows out there…like Shamu rocks Texas and then some Sea Lion shows.
Even more than the sea lions and the whales and fishes out there what really impressed us were the trainers.
The way they bonded with the animals, the way they petted them…the smile on their face while they were doing that…the dexterity and poise with which they did the act, Wow! Hats of to them.
They really did instill the feeling in me, that if you believe you can do something you can do that.
All we need is the confidence and the will to try out new things.
With this feeling at the top of our minds we set of to do a couple of thrill rides. One of them was called the Steel Eel…S’s dad who has never done any kind of rides before also agreed to come with us, I really appreciate him as well as for S to have taken them on the rides because if it were me I would have refused to have taken him and decided to not go on the rides for the fear of him hurting his already not so good back. It was about 45 stories high…. one huge roller-coaster ride with a lot of turns, ups and downs. At the end of it we really enjoyed it and would always cherish that ride though we screamed our hearts out during the ride. Some of us just for the sake of screaming…and some of us because we felt that screaming loud is going to stop us from falling.
There was this 4D show out there. My husband’s parents who were visiting us from India had never been to a 4D show before. So his mom kept asking us what it was all about, my hubby managed to keep it a secret till the show started…and the expression on my in-law’s face was one of thrill and shock when water unexpectedly sprinkled on her.
We did couple of rides called the Steel Eel…it was one huge roller-coaster ride with a lot of turns, ups and downs. The other ride that I enjoyed was the water splash one, it’s a pretty common one but then with all the heat it felt heavenly when the water splashed on us.
On the whole it was a day well spent!
It was like any other amusement park not too different but still was lots of fun.
Our spirits were soaring high just like the sweltering heat of Texas. It was a hot day even for someone like me who just needs a glass of iced water to start shivering, but Shamu and the rest of the shows out there kept us entertained.
We started from Austin around 10:30 in the morning and reached Sea World around 12:30.
We went to some of the shows out there…like Shamu rocks Texas and then some Sea Lion shows.
Even more than the sea lions and the whales and fishes out there what really impressed us were the trainers.
The way they bonded with the animals, the way they petted them…the smile on their face while they were doing that…the dexterity and poise with which they did the act, Wow! Hats of to them.
They really did instill the feeling in me, that if you believe you can do something you can do that.
All we need is the confidence and the will to try out new things.
With this feeling at the top of our minds we set of to do a couple of thrill rides. One of them was called the Steel Eel…S’s dad who has never done any kind of rides before also agreed to come with us, I really appreciate him as well as for S to have taken them on the rides because if it were me I would have refused to have taken him and decided to not go on the rides for the fear of him hurting his already not so good back. It was about 45 stories high…. one huge roller-coaster ride with a lot of turns, ups and downs. At the end of it we really enjoyed it and would always cherish that ride though we screamed our hearts out during the ride. Some of us just for the sake of screaming…and some of us because we felt that screaming loud is going to stop us from falling.
There was this 4D show out there. My husband’s parents who were visiting us from India had never been to a 4D show before. So his mom kept asking us what it was all about, my hubby managed to keep it a secret till the show started…and the expression on my in-law’s face was one of thrill and shock when water unexpectedly sprinkled on her.
We did couple of rides called the Steel Eel…it was one huge roller-coaster ride with a lot of turns, ups and downs. The other ride that I enjoyed was the water splash one, it’s a pretty common one but then with all the heat it felt heavenly when the water splashed on us.
On the whole it was a day well spent!
Friday, August 11, 2006
Again!
After spending almost a year reading blogs and attempting to create my own space, I have made myself do this yet again, start another blog...I've already done this twice without success...Hoping to start posting regularly from today!..My August 11th resolution....
Here you can find my thoughts, opinions, dreams,moments that make me happy...instances that make me shed tears....and mostly unimportant things to the world....but part of my own little space.
Here you can find my thoughts, opinions, dreams,moments that make me happy...instances that make me shed tears....and mostly unimportant things to the world....but part of my own little space.